Friend’s, let us tell you that knowing how that anxiety works can go a long way in helping you better support loved ones without inadvertently making their anxiety worse.
And when I first came to her (now) spouse’s house in 2001, let me tell you that she didn’t want to include my name in our answering machine greeting. And at the same time it was because of our huge age gap and same-sex relationship, and at the same time she was justifiably worried about how her parents would react to me leaving; So tell that this is why he kept her away from them for many months. And that though I felt very pity for her and her situation, and also she but I was also disappointed that her anxiety was affecting me – and let’s say I don’t like acting like this one It was as if we should be ashamed.
And let us tell you that such a scenario is common and when this person in your life is also struggling with that anxiety. And it can very easily make your loved one feel so intimidated as well that they avoid taking action, or act in ways that are inconsistent or that increase your own anxiety. And to you it may seem like a boyfriend is constantly putting off important tasks or discussions, and at the same time it may seem like a friend is complaining about being single but refusing to date, and he or she A boss is always focused on what can go wrong, and that’s what makes everyone sad. And for that it’s hard to see anxiety in someone you know, and it’s even harder when their anxiety triggers you.
But what can you do to help those who are worried?
And so friends, first of all you need to understand that worry is a human characteristic, and tell that it is not a defect. And that’s what most of us get anxious about from time to time, and that’s because it’s usually the useful emotion involved and the one that helps us to see those dangers of potential extremely, And at the same time it worries us about social rejection, and at the same time it keeps us alert to deceit. And that while being anxiety-prone may seem like a mistake, at the same time it actually proves helpful to some people in such a population and those who are more cautious and who often wonder what could be wrong.
And friends, this one though, sometimes people fall into a pattern of coping with anxiety and that’s what causes it to snowball. And at the same time they overthink (think about the past or worry about the future), whatever triggers their anxiety, and they also use compensatory strategies – such as Being extremely perfectionist to avoid feeling like a cheater at work—and the one that it temporarily lowers their anxiety and let you know, but prolongs it—period. These coping strategies can also put people off—people like you.
And it’s frustrating and frustrating to see all these people suffer though, and that’s but there are things you can do to help. And with that, here are some strategies and what I recommend based on my own book called The Anxiety Toolkit.
1. Understand the difference in how anxiety manifests
Friends, if you do not know about it, then tell you that it is due to an evolution, that we all are ready to respond to fear by fight, flight, or freeze. And also this that for different people, and let me tell you that this one of these reactions will usually dominate. So I can tell you for the example of he freezes this is my spouse and he will be also bury his head in the sand of instead of dealing. with things that make him feel stressed and at the same time this nervous. And in addition, I tend to fight more, and if I feel stressed and at the same time become irritable, overly perfectionistic, or dogmatic.
And also when you understand that anxiety is about our sensitivity to danger, it’s designed to put us in a mode, and let me tell you, it’s easy to understand someone like that and that One who is scared (or feeling stressed) and is acting irritable or defensive, and at the same time this one may be looking for compassion for them. And by paying attention to the person you care about and how that concern manifests itself, and it’s also that you can learn their patterns and also it’s better to help one may be in position.
2. So that Match your support to their preferences and attachment style
Friends, let us tell you that it is best to ask this to anyone and with that what kind of support they prefer instead of guessing! And that’s what we know from research, however, and that people who have an avoidant attachment style (usually those who have experienced rejection of caring or relationships in the past) as well as solid practical support. is likely to give the best response to its strong performance. as well as helping the anxious person break down tasks into manageable steps, and it can either talk them through specific options for dealing with a difficult situation, as well as help them deal with situations such as anger. It is one thing with how to respond to emails, but it may still involve acknowledging their autonomy as well as independence when doing so.
And let’s say that other people are more likely to like emotional support, as well as securely attached to a particular person who is it, and with that either Those who have a “busy” attachment style because of the fear of being left out or the fear of their feelings taking a toll on others. And at the same time, people like this tend to respond well to statements by emphasizing that he is part of a tight team – as he says his supporter, for example, “It’s hard but we love each other and we’ll get through this together.”
And with that I’m of course generalizing, and moreover, you need to build your support by looking at it and what works for your particular situation. But when you have a very close relationship with someone, it is only on the basis of an in-depth understanding of your loved one’s anxiety patterns that you can offer that support.
3. Find ways to use any insight they have into your concern
Friends, let us tell you that if your loved one comes to know about their concern, and in such a situation, you can help them to find out very easily and at the same time that their When are anxiety-induced patterns occurring? And with that I find it helpful when my husband or wife finds out and tells you that I am expressing my concern about work, as well as whether he is irritated with her or Very fussy. And also because we know each other’s patterns well and have a trusting relationship, and that’s why we can tell each other’s habits. It doesn’t always happen with grace, but the message sinks in anyway.
And friends, if you’re going to do this, and with that, it’s a good idea to get their permission first. And friends, first of all you should keep in mind that people who are insightful about their anxiety, and they often feel compelled to “give” their anxious thoughts. And like this for example, only that person with health concerns can logically know that it is unnecessary to go to the doctor every week for many tests, and with that but they can help themselves. can not do. And friends, if your loved one lacks insight into their anxiety and he or she has trouble managing their compulsions, it is best to encourage them to see a clinical psychologist. I am also someone who specializes in the treatment of anxiety.
4. Help someone who is eager to restrain their thinking
Friends, let us tell you that if you educate yourself about the cognitive-behavioral model of anxiety, and with that, you will be a much more helpful support person that you can use during therapy sessions with your loved one. You can do this by reading or participating in it. And also this and that but, instead, you can try to use some techniques and tell you that they can be helpful for people suffering from anxiety.
And this is usually a natural predisposition for anxious people to think about worst-case scenarios. And that’s also to help them get some perspective on that, in addition to this, you can use a cognitive therapy technique and friends where you ask them to consider three questions:
And what could be worse than that?
And what could be better than that?
Also is it realistic or likely?
And friends, that’s because if your loved ones are worried that they should have heard from their parents hours ago, but you didn’t, and with that, you can suggest they’re most likely to make up for the lack of contact. Consider the worst, best, and most likely explanation.
And friends, you must keep in mind that they should not assure their loved one too much that their fear will not end. And at the same time it is more useful to emphasize their coping ability. And like he says, for example, if they’re worried about having a panic attack on a plane, and at the same time you can say, and then I’m like, “It’s going to be very unpleasant and scary, but you’ll deal with it.” And, if your loved one is feeling anxious as well as that someone else is angry or disappointed with them, it is often useful to remind them that you can only choose your actions and Plus he can’t completely control all kinds of other people’s reactions.
5. Offer Support, But Don’t Take Over
And friends, if you don’t know, let me tell you that this is one of the main features of avoidance anxiety, and that is why sometimes we do it by working for our surviving loved ones and at the same time it unconsciously feeds their avoidance. Can feel pulled in to “help”. For example, and friends that if he finds your worried roommate phone call incredibly stressful and it’s you, he’ll end up doing it for them, plus this one so they never want to avoid it. Do not insist.
So friends that’s also good general or the principle to keep in mind is that support means and the helping of someone to help themselves, and so that is doing nothing for them, which includes literally anything and the one that prevents it from actually doing it itself. And let us know, for example, that you could just as easily offer to attend this first therapy session with your loved one and friend if they set up an appointment.
That which is necessary to help them to survive this. And that in addition, sometimes loved ones become so vulnerable to an anxiety disorder that they are in a better position to survive and at the same time that they need more help to get things done. And it is best to offer support to you in less extreme situations, however, without taking or exaggerating the reassurance.
6. If someone has a more serious problem of anxiety, avoid stigmatizing it
Friends, let us tell you that what can we do for people with this one more or very serious issue? as well as panic disorder, depression mixed with anxiety, and it can be feared by people experiencing things like post-traumatic stress, or obsessive thinking (including thoughts related to eating disorders) as well as that they are really going crazy. And let you know that it may feel beyond your ability to help them.
And friends, that as well as this, it’s you, that still can be helpful in many ways. And what’s more, it’s helpful to give a reassurance whenever a person is experiencing severe anxiety, and that’s because it hasn’t changed your overall perception of him or her. And at the same time this they are still the same person; And with that they are only facing a temporary problem situation and one that has gotten out of control. And they are not broken and at the same time they are not changed for who they are. And friends, as far as possible, you can easily help them stay connected to the positive aspects of their identity by participating in or encouraging their interests and hobbies.
And friends that too sometimes, people who have chronic anxiety problem, and then they are not interested in changing. And also this, for example, you can be a friend of someone who has an agoraphobia or an eating disorder, and also this but their condition is long-term and becomes stable. And that plus it happens in these cases, as well as you can accept that person as well as that one so that they don’t feel isolated. And it’s often the best strategy to push them without overly shying them about their boundaries or trying to be “normal.”
7. Take care of yourself too
Friends, if you recognize that your goal is to help, and not heal that person, it is either to relieve them of their anxiety. And taking on too much responsibility is actually a symptom of anxiety, so make sure you don’t fall into that trap yourself.
And friends, before you do this, keep in mind that it does not require your support to be directly focused on the concern. And that such as this example, only this exercise for an anxiety is extremely helpful; In addition, perhaps you can offer to take a walk together or attend a yoga class. And moreover, it also proves to be okay to put some limits on his the support so that’s 20-minute de-stressing and for conversation during a walk is very much more likely to be useful (and less exhausting) than a two-hour marathon discussion.
And friends, it’s not always easy to help someone with an anxiety disorder and it can seem like you’re doing it wrong. And that’s but, if you remind yourself and even more so that your loved ones are both doing your best, and at the same time it can help you put things in perspective. Is. And guys it’s also important to remain compassionate and, as the saying goes, and already it’s important to wear your own oxygen mask. And friends this one this way, you will have a clear head to find out what and what is going on with your worried loved one and how exactly you can help it.